I have massive projects due tomorrow and I procrastinated until the day before to get them done. Why? Because I’m Alex and that’s what I do. lol I want to just blast my music in my head and get shit done! Serious business!
The last time I blasted my music in this lab, all the classmates all ganged up on me and started making fun of me saying that I’m going to lose my hearing. Total buzz kill. I was in such a good mood that day too. I don’t know why I bothered to listen to them. I should have just cranked up the music even louder and ignored them. That would have made more sense. I lowered the volume or took an ear piece out just to listen to their criticism? That doesn’t make any sense. I’m an idiot sometimes. They bummed me out that day.
Rudy used to do the same thing… he would tell me how everyone would give him weird looks at work for doing the same thing. He would have been on my side if he were there with me that day. God, I miss him. He would have been like “pft… fuck them, Alex.” And just jammed with me. They don’t get it… geology nerds. lol I don’t fit in with these people. That’s why I was so happy when I became friends with Katherine. I thought she was like me… but she’s been really stressed out lately, so I don’t really have my friend right now. *sigh*
I miss having my friend… I missed my friend even when we were still talking. I really want to see ADTR with him. I keep thinking about it and it only feels right when he is the person standing next to me. I want to ask him to come with me still… but I’m afraid it will be awkward… … … *sigh* If only he knew. I want to tell him everything, but I don’t know if it would do more harm than good. I’m not worth all this bullshit. He knows me so well… he should know that I’m not. He’s better off without me in his life, but I’m so fucking selfish. I want my friend. I refuse to let him go… I ran away… fuck… fuck it… he’s better off not knowing.
Anyway. I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now. I have a lot to get done today. I need to focus. Finals are coming up. Every semester it’s one thing or another that comes up in the end of the semester that distracts me. I can’t let this happen again. My GPA has been falling. I need to get my shit together.
Fuck off, tumblr. I have work to do. >/