I have been working on this lesson plan for the past week. Sending it in to my professor for feedback and fixing things according to his suggestions. 

I got tired of editing it for the third time today and I told myself that even if there was anything wrong with it, I was just gonna take the hit. Just because it wasn’t going to be a PERFECT score didn’t mean it still wasn’t awesome. If it lost any points, it would probably be over a stupid technicality. 

I just read my feedback, though. I am so pleased!!! I love what he said about it! It’s so encouraging to see that kind of feedback! I’m excited! I’m gonna make such an awesome teacher… lol^^!!!!

This is what my prof sent me:

Score for 2nd edited version: 21 out of 21!

I really enjoyed this lesson plan. The way you blended the multicultural aspects with the content is exemplary. You’re also reflecting at a level that shows you’re ready to take on your own classroom and students. You even reflected about the particular textbook, which also shows you’re taking into account the many factors involved with being situationally aware in classrooms/with the curriculum, etc.

I have massive projects due tomorrow and I procrastinated until the day before to get them done. Why? Because I’m Alex and that’s what I do. lol I want to just blast my music in my head and get shit done! Serious business! 

The last time I blasted my music in this lab, all the classmates all ganged up on me and started making fun of me saying that I’m going to lose my hearing. Total buzz kill. I was in such a good mood that day too. I don’t know why I bothered to listen to them. I should have just cranked up the music even louder and ignored them. That would have made more sense. I lowered the volume or took an ear piece out just to listen to their criticism? That doesn’t make any sense. I’m an idiot sometimes. They bummed me out that day. 

Rudy used to do the same thing… he would tell me how everyone would give him weird looks at work for doing the same thing. He would have been on my side if he were there with me that day. God, I miss him. He would have been like “pft… fuck them, Alex.” And just jammed with me. They don’t get it… geology nerds. lol I don’t fit in with these people. That’s why I was so happy when I became friends with Katherine. I thought she was like me… but she’s been really stressed out lately, so I don’t really have my friend right now. *sigh*

I miss having my friend… I missed my friend even when we were still talking. I really want to see ADTR with him. I keep thinking about it and it only feels right when he is the person standing next to me. I want to ask him to come with me still… but I’m afraid it will be awkward… … … *sigh* If only he knew. I want to tell him everything, but I don’t know if it would do more harm than good. I’m not worth all this bullshit. He knows me so well… he should know that I’m not. He’s better off without me in his life, but I’m so fucking selfish. I want my friend. I refuse to let him go… I ran away… fuck… fuck it… he’s better off not knowing.

Anyway. I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now. I have a lot to get done today. I need to focus. Finals are coming up. Every semester it’s one thing or another that comes up in the end of the semester that distracts me. I can’t let this happen again. My GPA has been falling. I need to get my shit together.

Fuck off, tumblr. I have work to do. >/

FUCUS!

hehe

I feel like if events in my immediate past hadn’t transpired as they did, I wouldn’t have ended up where I was tonight. I… I think it was good for me to be there again. Although I’m not a big fan of the end of the semester, things seem to be going a little better. I have high hopes.

I got a B on my last calculus exam! My classmate, Chris, and I both got similar scores, actually. Which is significantly better than our first tests =]

I am happy for us =]

Anyway… so tomorrow will basically decide if I graduate on time, as expected, or if I’ll have to take another year. We’ll see how it goes. I got great news today financially for the summer semester. Turns out since I’ll be a senior, I’ll have a grant available to me if I have at least 6 credits (2 classes) in summer courses. I was hoping to take 9 (3 classes) so that’s perfect. That’s the equivalent of full-time in the normal semester, I believe. Sooo that, plus my two professional exams should keep me a busy bee this summer. Well… I guess we’ll see about that third class and the professional exams after tomorrow. Tomorrow will decide everything. *nods

Goodnight, tumblr. 

This girl is such a tool… haha

hoooow cuuute =]

It amazes me how there is SO MUCH in the world that I am clueless about. There are things going on that I have no clue about. 

In a way, it’s kinda sad, but there’s no way around it. Hundreds, thousands, millions of people go through an entire lifetime… full of experiences, wisdom, knowledge, and so much more… but I will never have known any of it. I will never have known they even existed. Right now, in this very second, someone has lost their life. Their thread has been cut and Death has taken them to the other side. I don’t know who they are, I don’t know where they are, I don’t know anything about them. But they are gone. And they won’t be coming back. 

There are so many things in this life that I can learn about. I couldn’t possibly know EVERYTHING, but I can choose to learn as much as I possibly could. 

I know I’m in school for a reason. School is traditionally meant to pass on knowledge of a certain topic to the masses. However, it has become morphed and distorted into something that doesn’t really make sense anymore. At least not in reference to it’s original purpose.

Nowadays, people go to school because they want to work in some sort of career. Whether their reason be because they want to make money or because they are genuinely interested in the topic is irrelevant.

They go to school now to “earn” a diploma: A piece of paper that somehow proves that they know what they need to know to get that desired job.

It feels so empty. I find myself sitting in classes that I don’t want to take just to get a passing grade and forget all the temporarily-stored information in my mind. But why do I feel that way? I should feel privileged that I have the opportunity to learn these things. There are people out there who would LOVE to be sitting where I sit so they could absorb all this knowledge my professors spew at us. 

I think it’s because of the way the system works. It’s bullshit. To put it bluntly. A lot of professors don’t view the class as a medium to spread knowledge on this topic. They view the classes as something they must do as required by their department if they want to continue doing research for the university. Or they view class time as some formality that must ensue before the students take a test which will earn them a passing or failing grade. That’s just it! It’s about a grade. It’s not about learning anymore. It pisses me off. 

I sit there in class getting more and more aggravated because I’m not learning anything. I am expected to learn things at someone else’s pace, and through someone else’s methods so the entire experience becomes a struggle. Instead of feeling like a priviledge, it feels like a drag because my heart isn’t in it. The information stays in my head long enough to pass a test and then it’s gone. I don’t want that.

I don’t know why I’m ranting about this. It’s not going to change anything. I suppose I was just frustrated because there is so much knowledge out there which I would love to absorb. I would love to add it ALL to my memory banks, and the things I’m learning in school should be adding to that… but they aren’t.

…And that little fact disappoints me.

and I’ve been studying all day/night for it.

This is how I feel right now:

I’m gonna walk in that classroom and sit down like:

I’m definitely going for the highest f(*&^%ing grade of the whole f(*&^%$ing class! And everyone is gonna hate me for screwing up the grading curve, but you know what????

Goodnight!